If you are like me, there are times in your life where it appears that your always fighting, either with the kids or your wife. There was at any moment the possibility of a minor war zone, land-mines planted just below the surface.
I could pick any battle and have a horrendous fight that could last for hours.
We have become so busy with activities that we have forgotten how to enjoy life. When my daughters were involved with various school activities or the seasonal sport of the moment, there was always a game or competition.
Quite honestly, many times it was difficult to make every one. My heart was always with my girls but the mortgage was invariably due on the 15th, every month!
Being an entrepreneur and self employed never allowed me to count on someone else. If I didn’t produce it, drag it home and skin it, it didn’t happen. Hence, the battle for my time. Which always came with a sense of guilt and the ensuing aftermath of me not feeling adequate as a dad.
The children never understand you have to work instead of watching them play second base. And of course the bantering with your wife because she understands, but still wants your undivided attention for the families sake. ~ Sound painfully familiar?
Here are some basic steps we took to help us find that balance:
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Talk openly about the dilemma.
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Schedule in advance the children’s events that you can attend and put the family on notice very early of the events that are impossible to make.
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Ask yourself if you could rearrange your obligations or work later to accomplish your task.
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Could you enlist a co worker to assist?
The truth is our children won’t die if you miss a couple activities.
As a matter of fact, I can’t remember any events my dad attended, ever, because he was supporting a family of 6. Today I am grateful for my dad’s willingness to work and give us the best life he could. I certainly do not promote work over the family activities, but C'MON, sometimes we have to do, what we have to do. This is another great reason to always count the cost before you go buy that bigger, better more expensive thing.
We are living in an environment where the parents are scheduling their lives and work around the children. I’m not sure what this is doing for the work ethic for the next generation. We probably need to spend equal time with the activities teaching our children responsibility.
I never wanted to miss any activity my girls were involved in and rarely did. However, there will be times when it’s inevitable and you will be better as a parent explaining to your children a missed event is better than financial devastation on the entire family.
If you teach your children to become a responsible adult they will realize that the best choice is not always the easiest.
What about you? How would you rate your balancing act?
Live on purpose,
Aaron
