In today's workplace the discussion of boundaries between men and women are practically non-existent. I have this conversation regularly with my accountability group and my spiritual advisers.
Are there absolutes or is every situation discretionary? Coaching professional men is a daily practice for me and this is a topic that we invariably have to broach.
Err on the side of caution. Always.
Many years ago I personally elected to take a stringent approach to boundaries, quite honestly, I'm radical. As a professional man there is trouble lurking around every corner and I want to avoid temptations and any opportunity to discredit my marriage.
I have been accused by my peers of overreacting to a seemingly normal business behavior. This may be an accurate assessment on their part, but I had rather err on the side of caution.
Robin and I have had lengthy conversations on what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior in the workplace environment.
Preventive measures
In no way do we ever want to impose our values on others, but we feel that preventive measures can save years of heartache when adequate boundaries are enforced.
I do realize that being self employed and making my own rules makes it much easier to decide what I will and will not allow. Unfortunately, we are often put into situations that are beyond our control and we are at the mercy of our employer.
However, I have seen countless times men assume they have no say so in the matter and allow themselves in compromising situations because they did not ask for a different arrangement.
Most companies will respect your position and put in place safeguards if you express your concerns. Ask yourself a couple questions the next time you are confronted with a compromising situation.
1. Would my wife be pleased with me in this environment?
2. Am I compromising my values?
3. Does this arrangement present unnecessary temptation?
This is a list of boundaries that I have put in place for myself:- Never be alone with a woman.
- Careful with social media interaction.
- I refrain from having conversations with women that include personal topics.
My relationship with my wife is absolutely worth the effort, is yours?
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