My wife and I have made a conscience effort to not “freely offer” up advice to our grown kids anytime we see them doing something we would do different.
While we believe our own 30 years of child rearing gives us some insights that could be helpful in different situations, we also know the value in letting our kids come to their own decisions about life and family.
I also need to keep in mind that as I have grown a little older and more mature my views and opinions (and memories) have also changed.
My habits are different, my grid is different, my financial needs are different and my life goals have changed. I’m sure this is one way God has used to slow me down a bit. So as I’m in a different (slower) stage of life I have to be careful not to make my kids feel pressured to live the life of someone at my age and position. I can’t forget what it was like when my kids were younger and I was working hard to support my growing family.
I see my kids busy, running around and I want to encourage them to “stop and smell the roses” sometimes. Of course smelling the roses is a good thing but there is also nothing wrong with busting your hind end for a while either while those roses are growing into full blooms. It may be tempting for me to challenge a young dad who’s working really hard that “money isn’t everything”, and it isn’t everything, BUT it sure is important when you have a young family.
Being able to pour into the life of our kids is a huge blessing. I think it’s the model we should all strive for. I’ve always had mentors much older than me because I know the value of learning from the advice and wisdom of those “who have gone before”.
But now as I stand as one with a little more experience and wisdom, I want to be extremely careful to make sure I’m always sharing wise and godly “principles” instead of just my own “preferences.” There is a difference.
I want my kids to feel free and open to ask me and my wife advice anytime but that can only happen if they truly feel supported and encouraged by us not judged and second guessed all the time. If we as parents can work at always having our child’s best interest at heart rather than trying to pressure them into re-living our glory days I know our kids will be more eager to listen when a genuinely important opportunity arises to speak into their lives.
