View from the Summit

Recently we decided to offer a survey in our church to assess the needs of our marriages. A little over 11% of our married couples responded, but we expected that. Most people don’t like to throw their junk out there even if it is anonymous. The survey revealed a lot of things but four of the five biggest issues our couples needed help to deal with were:

I’m a very strange bird. I’m fifty-five years old, which automatically puts me at somewhat of a disadvantage in many ways. You know what I mean, I don’t need to list all my shortcomings. However, there are a few advantages to having lived so long. It’s called experience.

Hang with me for just a couple minutes and then share with me your thoughts. I believe it would be unanimously agreed upon that you should love the one you’re with. Agreed? That would be pretty crazy to be with someone, and your thoughts and heart were elsewhere. Quite honestly that could even be considered sick. Pretend just for a second that you are walking on the beach with that special person, hearing the waves and watching that once in a lifetime sunset, but your thoughts are elsewhere. My heart is breaking for your loved one. I’m not talking about infidelity; I just mean you are not entirely present in the conversation. You are thinking, I would never do that, that’s terrible. The truth is, we are doing it every single day, and we are killing our intimate relationships.

Being able to control your emotions is possibly one of your greatest assets. What was the latest episode in your life that took massive restraint, and how did you handle this stressful situation? Did you react or respond? If you reacted, things probably did not end well.

Recent stats show that on average you check your smart phone 150 times per day. Wow, that makes me tired. Even with all that obsessive checking, have you come to the place where you hate answering the phone?

I’m guessing that when you look down at the caller ID at least one of these thoughts will usually race through your mind:

• I can’t wait to answer.
• I dread this call.
• He sucks the life out of me.

• This will be energizing & empowering.

• I wonder what he wants?
• I’m always excited to take his call.
• He must want or need something, it’s the only time I hear from him.
• Ugh! I hate answering the phone (thank goodness for caller ID)