View from the Summit

Leadership is a topic that is usually discussed in a business or work context, but today I want to talk to you about leadership within the family. Let me share my thoughts with you on how you can be a ‘Servant Leader’ in your family.

The word ‘Servant Leadership’ makes some of us uncomfortable because it sounds like we are being asked to act as a doormat for other people or as if we are being asked to play the role of ‘the nice guy’, who is weak and taken advantage of by everyone.

But that is far from the truth.

Servant leadership is about being a real man. It is one of the most powerful forms of leadership where you serve your family with unconditional love, going the last mile for your wife, exercising authority with compassion, putting your family’s needs ahead of yours, taking leadership decisions without thinking about your own agenda, doing the right things that need to be done and leading your family to a good place.

Invariably, the aftermath of a jealous rage is ugly to say the least. The anguish and torment we put ourselves through are immeasurable.

We ask ourselves irrational questions that are hypothetic in nature and expect logical answers to surface as a result of this inner dialogue.

 We attempt to rationalize our thoughts, and we banter back and forth hoping for a solution. We often compromise our character mentally, rationale sets in, but more often than not we make the best decision. However, there are times when craziness sets in. I’m talking this inescapable fit of rage like the Looney Tunes have arrived. What then?

Let me be the first to raise my hand on lessons learned the hard way. I got married early, 19 years old; Robin was 18, two weeks out of high school. I don’t need to tell you how selfish most young adults are at this age. 

As I think about relationships, and the importance of them, my relationship with my wife is only second to my relationship with Christ. This took me years to finally understand and fully comprehend the full impact of putting my wife in the correct order. I openly admit that my personal desires trumped everything early on. 

Having a little success naturally puts you in the “leadership” position. I have been fortunate enough for almost 40 years now to work for myself. As a result of that alone, I get numerous inquiries about what are the “best practices” and "I must do this or that” questions. Every answer I have is not the solution to every single problem area. Often, what I have to say will not solve your situation or even moderately make it better. You must use discernment; gather a consensus from the multitudes and listen to trusted advisors.

However, there is a topic I would like to discuss with you today that I can say with total confidence and 100% certainty will cause you indescribable excruciating pain if it goes unguarded. What I am about to share is, and always has been, a monumental distraction for many people.

·      Wars have been fought over it.

·      Families destroyed as a result of it.

·      Careers abandoned overnight because of it.

·      Children maimed and scarred forever as a repercussion from it.

·      Great men and women marked by shame for decades as a direct result of it.